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          你可能一辈子也遇不到合适的人

          有多少人的单身宣言,一直是“我在等那个合适的人出现”。 可现实是,你遇到了很多人,错过了很多人,即使你已经谈过很多次恋爱,可你始终没能够遇到一个“合适...

          有多少人的单身宣言,一直是“我在等那个合适的人出现”。

          可现实是,你遇到了很多人,错过了很多人,即使你已经谈过很多次恋爱,可你始终没能够遇到一个“合适的人”。看到恩爱的情侣,你埋怨、嫉妒,为什么我就遇不到一个人,谈一场甜甜蜜蜜的恋爱?

          不是上天不眷顾你,而是遇到一个合适的人,本身就是极小概率的事件。

          什么样的才能够被称作“合适的人”?

          他能够包容你所有的脾气,在你无理取闹的时候还可以一把揽进怀里,亲吻额头给予一个大大的拥抱,他能够比你的gay蜜们更准确地察觉到你的坏心情并用最合适的方式给予最恰当的安慰,他还要能包容你所有的缺点,三观和你高度统一,五观符合你的审美。在他眼中你就是在世貂蝉转世杨贵妃,无论身边多少美少女围绕他都还能够不为所动深情凝视你说出“你才是最美”。

          对男人来说同样如此,她要貌美如花,还要善良顾家,最好还能和你一起打lol。可是和男朋友在一起打lol时候的女生表情估计也和lol差不多吧。

          所以你所想的“合适的人”,其实都是你心中最“完美的人” 。

          遇到一个“完美的人”人有多难
          遇到一个“合适的人”就有多难

          很多人拒绝别人的时候,或者分手的时候都是用“我们不合适”来作为理由:性格不适合,长相不适合,生活方式不适合,你爱吃辣,我爱吃甜,这都是不合适啊,那么多可以证明我们不合适的理由摆在眼前呢,不适合怎么在一起呢?简直让人无法反驳。

          你说,不是啊,我只要性格合适就可以了,要求哪有那么高。
          其实,性格合适,才是最高的要求。两个完完全全不同的人类,性格注定了是分裂的,看起来合适的性格,都是经过了岁月的磨合,双方各自退一万步,收起属于自身尖锐的刺,才能够最终换来一个合适的怀抱。

          有个老友,和男朋友腻歪到不行,每天在朋友圈上演遇到真爱的偶像剧情景。可最终还是分手。问分手原因,她说:“我太敏感,他太慢热,性格不合适。”

          比如,她喜欢在聊天的时候用各种颜文字表情卖萌,男朋友回复都是简单的文字,她深深受挫,觉得没受到重视。她觉得他应该是最懂她的人,她说半句话他就能理解,当她说了两句话他还不能理解的时候,她就觉得他们不合适了。她感动的,男朋友也应该感动;她重视的,男朋友也应该重视;如果男朋友做不到和她有一样的想法和感受,这就是性格不合适,没办法在一起过以后的日子了。

          他喜欢结交朋友,你就让他去,那是他生活的一部分,不要因为你习惯了占有,就觉得他的生活时刻都要以你为中心,你们才是合适对方的人;

          她偶尔无理取闹,摆摆臭脸,你也多理解,不能因为你习惯了主导,就认为她一定要对你百依百顺你们才是适合对方的人。

          不要把任何事情都上升到“性格不合适”那个层面上来。合不合适不是以你们之间的不同点去判断的,而是以你们肯不肯去接受对方的不同点来判断的。

          我们的个性中都应该有独立于彼此而存在的部分,我们也都应该学会去接纳彼此与我不同的价值观和生活方式。

          所以你遇不到合适的人,不是你们不适合,可能只是因为你们不肯磨合。

          无法接受你们的不同不是真的不合适,无法磨合你们的不同才是不合适。当有一天,如果你们真正为磨合你们生活中的种种不同而做出了一定的努力,发现真的无能为力,再说出“我们不合适”这句话吧,对双方都负责,少一些错过的遗憾。

          不要用不合适来当作借口,去解释你不愿意去退让、去改变、去包容

          不要整天想着遇到合适的人了,合适的人不是靠“遇到”的,而是要靠我们在进入彼此不同的人生中时,懂得去磨合各自的性格,你收一收你的玻璃心,我放一放我的直男癌,让我们慢慢变成适合对方的人。


          作者:李小狼,90后原创作家。倾诉人生的无可奈何,发现世界的光怪陆离。煲有趣的鸡汤,开有料的脑洞。个人公众号:李小狼(ID:hi-xiaolang)

          3g门户彩票app
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